An oldie but goodie, from my previous blog:
As all mothers know, there are days where you are just too tired. There is nothing wrong with that, and if you didn’t have one of those days once in awhile you would be a freak of nature. No mom is perfect. If you think you are, you are more than likely the worst parent on the face of the earth. This is not just my simple opinion either. Statistically speaking the parents who fail to see their flaws tend release the the most problematic children into the world. Dur! Just watch an episode of Maury when he has the 200 pound babies on. “She eat what she want, I know my baby hungry. I give her whatever she want when she want it.” I’m sure you do. Your 2 year old weighs as much as me. Can I get that Hello Kitty tank top when she outgrows it next month?
So, I had a “too tired” day yesterday. As a result of a few days straight of no sleep, on top of my allergies acting a fool, I have barely been able to function as a parent, let alone entertain Big H’s game of “look it, mommy” for 2 hours straight. And before you judge, we freaking played “look at it” all afternoon. I looked at the same crayon for 20 minutes.
Fast forward to late afternoon and there was nothing in the house to make for dinner. So I load Big H into the car and off we go to grocery land. On the way there I notice that Big H has found the hidden book of Grover stickers. Hidden because I pull those out as a last resort, you know, to lure him out of the car without screaming at places like the doctor or the gym. I need a little coaxing to get out of the car at the gym too, so i guess he comes by that honestly. We make it in and out of the store in record time. I load him back into the car and head for home. I hear him in the back seat talking about the stickers ( as much talk as an almost 2 year old can create that is) and I didn’t give it a second thought.
Until I heard crinkling. Crinkling and laughter and “Yaays!” and then even louder “YAAYS!” I can’t see what is going on in the backseat because Big H’s car seat is still rear facing. Because I strive to be a distinguished driver and not one of those moms who hits parked cars because their arms are constantly in the back seat swatting things out of their children’s reach, my eyes were glued to the car in front of me
with the really, really bright brake lights without break lights.
Once we arrived back home I assumed that I would open the door to find a ripped up Grover sticker book and a few Grover stickers stuck to the headrest.
So, what did this mommy learn? Never assume. When you think it’s going to be Grover stickers, it’s always going to be Kotex.
Now, who wants to talk about their weekend?
P.S- A big thanks to Grandma loves Metal for the gargantuan bag of feminine care products. She apparently stalked everyone with a Sunday newspaper last week (high dollar coupon that made the pads FREE!) and bought enough pads to take care of every period EVER. She also put them in my backseat and I forgot about them. Leave it to Big H to find something he isn’t supposed to have, or really have any dealings with ever. Leave it to me to still be embarrassed in a “my mom bought me pads” scenario at the age of 27.
I realize that my embarrassment is probably something that you are enjoying.